1. As a speaker, I’ve only had two complaints from audiences. One, that I talk so loud they can’t fall asleep. And two, that I talk so long they can’t stay awake.
2. Some people suffer from stage fright. I don’t. The stage doesn’t bother me at all. It’s the audience that scares the hell out of me!...
3. At one time or another, I think each of us has wished we could turn back the clock. I know if I could turn back the clock just 45 minutes, I’d be the happiest person in this room. Because that’s when I left my speech on the kitchen table...
4. I don’t want to brag, but the last time I did this it brought the audience to its feet. And they never sat down again until they reached their cars...
5. If I’m a little hesitant, you’ll have to excuse me. This is the first after-dinner speech I’ve ever made ---except for yelling at my kids in McDonald’s...
6. I’m not used to speaking to such a large audience. The one thing that gives me courage is that I’m speaking on my favorite subject --- me.
7. People always ask me why I wear a big red ten gallon hat (or some other very noticeable article of clothing) and I tell them. It has to do with taking a positive but practical view of life. For instance, I know that no matter what happens, the good Lord is watching over us. Then again, there are now six billion of us, so I want to make darn sure He can pick me out of the crowd...
【李阳疯狂英语搞笑
1)使我们痛苦的东西在真正锻造我们。
What pains us trains us)
2)成功没有电梯，只有一步一个脚印的楼梯。
There is no elevator to success—only stairs)
3)成功的秘密在于始终如一地忠于目标。
The secret of success is constancy to purpose)
4)成功来自于克服困难的斗争。
Success grows out of struggles to overcome difficulties)
5)只有在字典中，成功才会出现在工作之前。
The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work)
6)除辛勤工作之外，我别无成功的秘诀。
I have no secret of success but hard work)
7)人们总是问我是否知道成功的奥秘，能否可以告诉别人怎样才能使他们的梦想成为现实。我的回答是：成功和实现梦想的诀窍是努力工作。成功是干出来的，不是想出来的。
People often ask me if I know the secret of success,and if I could tell others how to make their dreams come true)My answer is,you do it by working)
8)做最好的打算，做最坏的准备。/从最好的地方着想，从最坏的地方准备。
Hope for the best,but prepare for the worst)
9)这个世界上只有一种成功，那就是能够以自己的方式度过自己的一生。
There is only one success—to be able to spend your life in your own way)
10)肤浅的人相信运气，而成功的第一秘诀是自信。
Shallow men believe in luck)Self-trust is the first secret of success)
11)人不是为失败而生存的。
Man is not made for defeat)
12)生活很艰苦，但你可以更加强大。
Life is tough,but you can be tougher)
13)当你停止尝试的时候，你就完全失败了。
You make the failure complete when you stop trying)
14)心怀伟大的理想，你将会变得伟大。
Think great thoughts and you will be great!
15)要想成为伟大的领导者就必须有伟大的希望。
To be a great leader,you must have great hopes!
16)如果你想成功，不要去刻意追求。只要你干自己热爱的工作并相信它，成功自然会到来。
Don′t aim for success if you want it;just do what you love and believe in,and it will come naturally)
17)伟大的希望造就伟大的人物。
Great hopes make great men)
18)耻于问者耻于学。
He who is ashamed of asking is ashamed of learning)
19)每个人都是自己命运的建筑师。
Each man is the architect of his own fate)
20)信守诺言，你将和你生活中的每一个人都建立成功的人际关系。
Keep your promises and you will have successful relationships with everyone)
21) Don't mention it) 不必客气
22) Don't miss the boat) 不要坐失良机。
23) Don't take any chances) 不要心存侥幸。
24) Don't take it for granted) 不要想当然。
25) Don't worry about it) 别担心。
26) Easy come，easy go) 来得容易，去得快。
27) Enjoy your meal) 请慢慢享用吧
28) Easier said than done) 说是容易做时难。
29) First come，first served) 捷足先登。
30) For here or to go? 再这儿吃还是带走?
【李阳疯狂英语搞笑经典语录二】
1) .Absolutely (用于答话)是这样;当然是;正是如此;绝对如此。
2) Absolutely impossible! 绝对不可能的!
3) All I have to do is learn English. 我所要做的就是学英语。
5) Are you free tomorrow? 你明天有空吗?
6) Are you married? 你结婚了吗?
7) Are you used to the food here? 你习惯吃这儿的饭菜吗?
8) Be careful. 小心/注意。
9) Be my guest. 请便/别客气。
10) Better late than never. 迟到总比不到好。
11) Better luck next time. 祝你下一次好运。
12) Better safe than sorry. 小心不出大错。
13) Can I have a day off? 我能请一天假吗?
14) Can I help? 要我帮忙吗?
15) Can I take a message? 要我传话吗?
16) Can I take a rain check? 你能改天再请我吗?
17) Can I take your order? 您要点菜吗?
18) Can you give me a wake-up call? 你能打电话叫醒我吗?
19) Can you give me some feedback? 你能给我一些建议吗?
20) Can you make it? 你能来吗?
让我们看一些英语演讲者以幽默的语气来开始他们演讲的开场白：
1. As a speaker, I’ve only had two complaints from audiences. One, that I talk so loud they can’t fall asleep. And two, that I talk so long they can’t stay awake.
2. Some people suffer from stage fright. I don’t. The stage doesn’t bother me at all. It’s the audience that scares the hell out of me!...
3. At one time or another, I think each of us has wished we could turn back the clock. I know if I could turn back the clock just 45 minutes, I’d be the happiest person in this room. Because that’s when I left my speech on the kitchen table...
4. I don’t want to brag, but the last time I did this it brought the audience to its feet. And they never sat down again until they reached their cars...
5. If I’m a little hesitant, you’ll have to excuse me. This is the first after-dinner speech I’ve ever made ---except for yelling at my kids in McDonald’s...
6. I’m not used to speaking to such a large audience. The one thing that gives me courage is that I’m speaking on my favorite subject --- me.
7. People always ask me why I wear a big red ten gallon hat (or some other very noticeable article of clothing) and I tell them. It has to do with taking a positive but practical view of life. For instance, I know that no matter what happens, the good Lord is watching over us. Then again, there are now six billion of us, so I want to make darn sure He can pick me out of the crowd...
